Bun Meet Oven <---> Oven Meet Bun
You know those obnoxious facebook posts where people trap you with some random newsfeed comment alluding to their baby on board and then after 4 minutes of reading you get to the bottom of the post and their like GOTCHYA!!!! Time wasted, energy and excitement gone and your like - WTF - and scroll on...
THIS IS NOT THAT...
This is the beginning of an "unexpected journey" to say the least. So here's how it went down...
I'm 38 years old...YEP.... 38. I have 2 babies; my "baby" girl who is almost 14 and my "baby" boy who is almost 12. About 5 years ago, I started getting baby fever (as nearly all women do) and I asked my husband, John Carroll, what he thought about having another one. The answer was rapidly,
Hell No - Are you crazy!?
Well I am... so I backed away from the ledge of having 2 rounds of kids (the oldies and the newbies) and mooooooved along.
Fast forward to a present time...(Insert video here where I do a super cool fast forward reel... but no...I suck at video editing)...
John Carroll and I have been something sort of miraculous the last 2 months - I can't explain it but some of you may have experienced it before... It was like an ok marriage that suddenly hit the jackpot, flopped the nuts (poker people), won the lottery, nailed the powerball mega million AND had a great aunt die leaving you a shitload of inheritance.... YEAH that good. and we were honeymooning more hard core than we ever honeymooned in the first place. (Get your heads out of the gutter people... I'm talking about insane connected emotional conversations and eye contact...DOI)
TMI WARNING!!! For 12 years we used the same "jenkee ass birth control" which really doesn't count at all because it was only an exit strategy (you guys know what I'm talkin' 'bout) and it was no problem, because I'm not a normal girl and have to get on drugs to get pregnant... so like - no big deal - right? Haven't gotten preggo in 12 years so BAM! Well with all this honeymooning, and us being the geniuses we are, we got smart and got online to schedule a vasectomy... I'm mean our kids are almost grown and we are 38 and 40 years old!!! We are SO proactive right!?
WELP... apparently it only takes 2 failed exit strategies ... and WALLLAAAAAA!!!
WE MADE A BABY!!!!
So this is where I start my baby blog or whatever I guess LOL... I have so much more to say and stories to tell, but I know you guys have the attention span of a.... wait what's that SQUIRREL... well the attention span of me. In fact some of you stopped reading at the top and think this really is one of those obnoxious facebook posts. WRONG GUYS - this is an obnoxious "I'm Pregnant and 38 and EXCITED AS ALL HELL" post... and there will be so many more!
Peace out - I need a nap.